Vicious Paper Cut

Who doesn't want to receive a present wrapped in bloody paper? It shows you thought enough to care ... maybe thought too much. And with too sharp a pair of scissors. RudeWrap's first line of outrageous wrapping papers (there's also Pitch Black, for ennui-filled depressives) is heading for uncouth gift-givers everywhere. Realistic with just a touch of nouveau splatter, it will definitely be saved long after the box and its contents are gone. Also, it makes a dandy background for your child's school diorama of the War of 1812. Local lowbrow artists have already taken it to heart. Dina Mo of Compton said, “I was the first one to find it; kudos to me. Now everyone’s buying it.” Sure beats making it from scratch; kids, don’t try this at home.